What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
