I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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