I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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