I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize