I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
