just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize