There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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