oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
