You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
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All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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