Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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