Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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