You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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