Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
