you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I puked a lego.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
