And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
