gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
