That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
