I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize