Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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