She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
