I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
