everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i came on her dog
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
