Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
