Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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