Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
