pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
