Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
