So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
