just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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