Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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