Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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