do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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