i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize