Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize