The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
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All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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