Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Enjoy the penises
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize