Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize