he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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