bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
