just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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