The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
