whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
