Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
this hospital has no fireball
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
