You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
