I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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