Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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