Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
