he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize