i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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