He is an equal opportunity slut.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
