OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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