we're blogging at a bar
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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