But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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