everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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