I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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