where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
