Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
