I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
