Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize