Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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