TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I need to stop coming to work sober
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
