its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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