haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
